My Little Vampire

Its finished!

For my niece Ksenia's first Halloween costume I was asked to sew a vampires cape. Normally first time mothers usually dress their children up in cute cuddly costumes like bears, and tigers, and frogs, but not my sister, she's down with the jazz of Halloween! She was meant to be a vampire for Halloween too; she has 2 top teeth and 2 bottom teeth, her hair makes this cute curl Right in the centre of her forehead, and when shes playing or wants something she makes this really Erie zombie "roar" where she sucks air into the back of her throat, it actually sounds like shes choking. The first time she did that to me I was actually a little afraid... lol

The costume is made of black and red silks back to back, with a cardboard stuffed collar so it pops up around her neck. I've also made here a little bat with button eyes, which hangs from a satin string, and silk wrist cuff with Velcro fasteners. Shes already gotten a hold of the bat a few times and loves to play with it!

I am trying to convince my breast feeding sister to wear a white shirt ripped and covered in blood in all the 'right places' *wink wink*, so it looks like while feeding, the baby has attacked her! I don't think she will do it tho, not all of our family and friends have a sick sense of humour like me! lol

I can't wait to see it on her!
I hope she shares her candy with Uncle Bretty
However, since its now 1:31am and I am finally all finished I am off to bed!

Enjoy your Halloween! :)

Bret

TAGGED!! I've Been Hit!

I love these tags!! I've got a few moments to spare while I catch up on life, this bottle of wine and the rest of the box of chocolate covered cheesecake squares. Yes, they are as wonderful as they sound, and no, you may not have any! hahaha. So here we go! :)

I've been tagged by a few of my blogging friends out here, so here they are!!
The always wonderful Andy at The Spiritual Journey Of A Somerset Pagan
The ever vibrant Solstice Dreamer
A kick ass artist; Jen at Chasing Domestic Bliss
The ever inspiring Nydia at Bringing up Salamanders
A strong woman who brings me to tears all the way from a Welsh Hillside; Moonroot

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Six Random Things About Me:

1. I hate socks. Don't ask me what it is about wearing socks, but I just can't do it. I am very huggy and tactile, and like to feel the world beneath me. I love the feeling of rocks, sand, grass and even snow on my feet. I like to feel connected to the Earth, anyway I can.

2. I am a Gemini, and its VERY obvious. One personality likes to build decks, rewire houses, camp, chop wood, and work on cars WHILE the other personality likes to stay home with the kids (not mine of course) bake cookies, knit, crochet, plant flowers and do facials from the bathtub.... Both very different people who make up my personality.

3. I am claustrophobic, my mom was too. I can't stand to be stuck in tight spaces, or even see people crawl through those cool underground caves on the discovery channel. I have nightmares for weeks when I see that. I dream of being stuck in a tunnel, faced with a dead end, with no room to turn around. Sometimes I wake up gently sobbing.

4. I've been told that I am an amazing kisser and cuddler, however only a very select people know this hehehe. I should open a kissing booth, 1$ - any takers?

5. Birthday/Christmas/Holiday Card shopping makes me cry. I get past about 3-4 cards before I start to cry after reading words that touch or inspire me. I cry very easily, its easy for me to let my guard down. Get that from my mom too... lol I can't fight verbally with someone either, half way through my sentences I cry and make no sense when I'm upset or hurt.

6. My feelings bruise easily and I am easily hurt. The opposite is true as well tho, its the small things in life that bring me great joy and pleasure. Phone calls, little notes and random messages that show you care :)

So there you have it! Six random things about me...
Thank you all for tagging me, I love these, its fun to get to know our fellow bloggers! :)

The six I am tagging at random (hopefully you haven't been tagged already - so feel free to do this, or pass it on) are:

1. BohoMom @ Words from a Single Bohemian Mom - My partner and crime and moving buddy this month!! lol
2. Jennifer @ Crazy, Magic, Sometimes Hectic, Beautiful LIFE! - Always seems to inspire me, I hold on to her words like glue! Check this girl out!!
3. Dee @ iGoddess - Grounding, Centering - like a day at the spa, Dee is where I check my Moral Compass when I'm headed off path.
4. Mary @ Mary Says - One of the kindest, funniest ladies on the Net! Shes a hoot and a 1/2!
5. JJJJJane @ The Painted House - What can I even say really? Jane inspires me, and her words help me climb the rope, and continue on when I think I'm at the end.
6. Amie @ The Cross Stitch Bitch - That's right, she cross stitches AND shes a Bitch! Check out Amie if your a creative bitch (come on - we all know we are)

Keep safe,
Have a wonderful weekend
Embrace the Journey
Bret xoxo

I'm Moving!

In the 4 minuets it will take for the tea kettle to boil, I am writing a new post to keep everyone up to date! My past week, well two weeks really have been super crazy busy! I have been painting mostly, and now in the past few days I have been moving. Small van fulls at a time, furniture, dishes and memories. I have a dishwasher, so the most time consuming thing is washing dishes, each load takes about 45 minuets, and I am running each set of dishes/glassware through 2 loads (just to make sure all the smokey residue from the fire is gone). Everything is coming out nicely tho, and I am very impressed at how my little apartment is again becoming my home.

Its true what they say; home is where the heart is. I had thought I lost that feeling in the fire, but now with the process of moving back I am beginning to feel it again. This is where my heart has been, hiding the whole time. Who would have knew?

I've been able to read a bunch of your blogs, but not make comments yet. I try to make my comments as thoughtful and dear to your heart, as your writing is dear to mine. In the next couple of days I will make up for lost time (blogging from my new couch no less) and be in touch with everyone!

Until then,

Embrace the Journey wherever it leads you.

Home is where the heart is. Its your temple, your sacred space.

Its where your family gathers, your children are raised and your soul resides.

Paint, hang pictures, display artwork. Inject yourself into those blank walls, and your house will truly become your home.

Bret xoxo

The Painted House..

OK, so I stole the title from the always wonderful Jane at The Painted House, but it sorta applies to the last week or two of my journey. I've made the decision, written the checks and started to move back into my old/new apartment in the historic Victorian house in Niagara Falls. It was quite a decision to make, but in the end I had to take my own advice and realize that the universe is looking out for me, this is part of my path, and part of my journey, and everything happens for a reason. Ultimately in the end, I figured that if the powers that be didn't want me to move back in, they would have torched the whole house! lol

I opened the front door to reveal a sense of home that I thought I had lost. With my friend Amie by my side, I walked in only to discover that they had painted the entire apartment their standard Yellow. Now, when I say yellow, I don't mean a nice shade of cream, or a calming golden poppy, it screamed lemon yellow!

First thing was first. I headed to home depot and found my old colour swatches for the living room. If you remember (pictures in a few posts below) my living room was a medium shade of chocolate, and my hallway was creme. I had a few cans of paint mixed, along with a few recycled cans that my sister was finished with and set to work.

In the first night of painting my friend Julie (who conveniently lives only 4 doors down) finished the living room, kitchen and hallway. It sure helped to have a second hand. She cut in all the corners and trim, and I came along with the roller and rolled on my fab colours! The next night I took my bed linens into Home Depot and they colour matched them to a paint colour called Canadian Sky, I love it, and in a few hours finished my bedroom. Check out these pictures! ;)

The only problem I am really having is the two bathrooms. The floors are now very dark - as they were the old hex shaped glass tiles before, now they are dark tiles in shades of browns and red. Prior to the fire, my bathrooms were blue, spa like, but it seems now that my old decor wont match with the new, which is okay. I can adapt, change is good, right?? *Bites Fingernails*

I was thinking to either paint the two bathrooms the Kitchen Green (fully) or do a beige on the bottom, green or brown on the tops, and accessorize accordingly. What does everyone think? I could REALLY use some decoration advice here!! I can't see the finished product like I normally would, my old bathroom is still stuck in my mind! Check these pictures to give you a better idea of the layout and design....

See how the floors are now so dark? I don't do dark well... I wanted the bathroom to be, fresh, and alive, and spa like. Something calming and relaxing, not comfortable and homey... Does that make sense?? hehehe So what do you think? ;)

Also, just a painting tip for everyone. There is no easy way to say this... No gentle way to put it... So here it goes... Those with da Fat Ass should not stand a chair to paint! That's right, This Guy's fat ass did a little chair damage over the weekend, however the constant laughter of the site in which I left the chair kept both Julie and I rather amused. So if you have a weak stomach, and hate to see a good chair in pain, you may not want to look at the next picture...

Yup, that's all that is left of it. As it lays in ruins on the hallway floor I can only imagine that out there some tree hugging hippie heart is breaking at the thought that a tree was cut down to build this chair, only to have my fat ass break it to provide some comic relief in an other wise boring afternoon...

Embracing the Journey, while ladder shopping...

Bret =)

turkey... Turkey... TURKEY!!!

It is now the end of what was a very long and filling day. I went to bed last night organizing recipes and times in my mind, figuring out when to prepare the pies, when to chop the bread for the stuffing, and when to baste the turkey. I was also laying in bed thinking about my mom, and how she is missing another family holiday.

I awoke in the morning, feeling the weight of perfection on my shoulders. Mom always prepared dinners with ease; being able to time the turkey, stuffing, pies and potatoes perfectly. She made it look so easy, I still haven't figured out how she accomplished this. I struggled this morning with getting the pumpkin pies in the oven early enough so I would have time to cook the turkey for 5 hours, while allowing me time to prepare and bake the stuffing as well (we don't stuff the bird here - my sister wont eat stuffing that way... Can't blame her, considering where its being stuffed...) Which brings me to another point, I really feel bad; I had my hand up that turkeys ass all morning and I didn't even take her out to the movies! There just didn't seem to be enough time for everything I had to do. I never realized how much work went into a meal until I took over cooking years ago.

Overall dinner went off well, and 6 hours of baking, cooking, boiling and roasting were concluded with 38 minuets of eating. Isn't that how it always goes? You spend the whole day cooking and a fraction of that time eating. Does that piss off anyone else, or is it just me? lol

There are more dishes in the sink than I can shake a stick at. I usually don't mind washing and drying, but tonight I'd rather go soak in the bath tub. My Grandmother loved to wash dishes, I'm not too sure why. She'd always tell me that when she was growing up the neighbours could tell when she and her siblings were washing dishes - they'd say "oh the Schaeffer kids are singing, they must be washing up the dishes again". I always laughed at that story because my Grams had an awful singing voice, however she claimed quite the opposite in her younger days...

She would sing "oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going my way..." I can still hear her voice, and its funny because when I wake up in the morning, and the sun is shining its the first thing that comes to mind, sometimes I find myself humming it... She was also famous for other classics such as "arc du lieber augustine" which is a German song about kids with shit in their pants, and the Lemonade song, which went like this "lemonade lemonade 5 cents a glass, if you don't like it stick it up your ass." She wasn't all knitted sweaters and crochet blankets you know ;) lol My mom didn't always approve of her musical teachings...

Its funny the things you remember years later, memories that are triggered by familiar smells and actions. I swear I could smell my moms perfume in the kitchen when I was struggling with the baking. I could feel her gentle guidance when I asked aloud if I bake the pie shells before I fill them, or how much celery salt to use in the stuffing.

So today I am thankful for her recipes. It may not seem like much to some, but they have helped to keep her spirit alive. As I grasped the wooden spoon to stir the pumpkin filling on the stove I felt her hand guide mine, giving me the strength I needed to get through the day. Thanks Mom!

Now that I am exhausted, I am off to bed!

Embrace the Journey

Bret :-)

Closets are for Clothes!

Inspired by the ever lovely Sacred Suzie I wanted to write a little bit about my "coming out" experience. Now, like Suzie, I've also transitioned from being in the "broom closet" to being out, but unlike Suzie that wasn't the last of my closet renovations ha-ha! I've also come out of the other closet, you know... The "closet" closet.

Being and accepting the fact that I was gay was actually surprisingly easy for me as the majority of my past lives were as a woman, it just seemed normal for me oddly enough. Telling others of my sexual preferences tho was difficult. A very select few of my friends knew in High school, I was very lucky to have a friend who was also a lesbian - and the perfect prom date; no pressure! Through High school and into my adult life I have always kept friends who are open minded, non-judgemental, and accepting. Even tho I grew up in a small city, friends like this weren't hard to find, we just sort of found each other by instinct. I was never ridiculed, or made fun of. No one centered me out or hazed me. There have been so many young lives lost, or taken because of their sexual preferences. I've certainly been lucky.

Coming out to my family was a little more difficult. My sisters have always been supportive, and from a young age (before I was ready to come out) they would constantly say to me: "Bret, we know you are Gay, its okay, we are your sisters, we love you and will always be here for you..." I denied it for a while, I think I was afraid to disappoint them. It was several years into my teenage years before I sat them down and exposed my sexuality. The typical response from them was: "Bret, we know, its okay. Can we go clothes shopping now?" lol

My mom was the person whom I was most afraid to tell, not because I thought she would disapprove, or disown me, but because I didn't want her to think for a second that she had did something wrong in rearing me. I didn't want her to feel that if she had done things different my life would be different, less complicated and therefore better. After all, all moms only want the best for their children... She stood silently in the kitchen washing dishes. I entered the room, quietly. I started to tell her; slowly engaging her in conversation, I said firstly, "mom did you hear that Rosie O'Donnell just came out of the closet, she is a LESBIAN!" She put down the dish she was washing without blinking an eye, and with her tea towel slung over her shoulder she put her hand on mine, and whispered gently, "Bret, it's okay, Mom's know these things..." and by the look in her big, accepting, loving brown eyes I knew that she knew. She smiled at me and picked up another dirty dish. I remember feeling lighter afterwards.

My dad has been another story, being an Aries male, he doesn't have any emotions except for distrust, anger and hate. He's never accepted me, and its taken me a long time to realize that I don't need his acceptance. I wont bore anyone with my sob story of how my dad has treated me over the years, and still continues too, but I've become a much stronger man in the past couple of months and no longer allow him to disrespect my personal temple. He actually refuses to come to family events that I host at my apartment in fear of running into a gay friend, or something else gay... I was shocked when he first admitted the reason why he hadn't visited, ever, in the 18 months I resided there. I think he must assume that while I'm making Thanksgiving dinner I host a gay orgy, and take breaks every 25 minuets to baste the turkey. Maybe hes just afraid to "catch the gay". It doesn't affect my spirit any longer.

Coming out of the Broom Closet was alot more difficult. I've always struggled with my personal beliefs. Throughout the years, even tho I've kept friends who are open minded and accepting, there have been a few who have turned their backs on me. Mostly out of fear. I find that people don't give the time for you to explain your convictions, after all its much quicker to pass judgement and walk away than to listen. Not that i've ever advertised my religious beliefs, or thrown them in any ones face I have always taken part in many Pagan/Wiccan activities; everything from reading tarot cards to raise money for the food drive "Project Share" in Niagara falls, to drumming circles and festivals. I've only been told a handful of times that I will burn in hell, or that I have no soul, and I've only had holy water thrown on me 3 times, I consider myself pretty lucky, it could have been worse. During a canned goods collection drive for less fortunate families in my community, a Christian group showed up to protest our efforts. They had signs and everything! They were chanting something to the affect that every non perishable food item we touched would be damned and unholy. Finally I yelled out "It's canned Peas! Of course its unholy!" They weren't impressed. It was sad, but as events progressed I actually had to phone the police, they had turned to throwing rocks at us, like it was 1604 or something.


My family of course had always been accepting, and follow the same path as me. My mom allowed us to explore different religions for ourselves, she believed that like Rome, God had many roads to him as well. My mom was very Magickal herself. Being the source of premonitions, psychic insight, empathic ability and clairvoyance she's always been their to guide us. My dad on the other hand is a "born again Christian", the kind that drink, swear, gamble, cheat on their wives and steal. I've never expressed my religious beliefs to him, although I do debate some Christian ideals with him. I've always said, what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him. lol There would just be no point. I won't give him another reason to try to desecrate my personal temple.

So there you have it, "This Guy's Journey" out of the Closets. Like I always say, like it or not, this is who I am, this is who I will always be. It's not a choice, it's just the direction my soul is taking this time around. Always be true to yourself.

Embrace the Journey,
Bret =)

Still Avoiding the Slammer!

Yup, that's right! I haven't found myself behind bars yet! LOL

Actually I am feeling very well, thanks in most part to the amazing comments left by all of you! :) In the past couple of days I have realized a few things about love, the human heart and others rights to choose.

I still feel sorta wierdish about the whole situation, which I know is to be expected. I've never been one to accept change easily -- luckily one of my Bach Flower Remedies is directly meant for dealing with new changes. I don't want to see my dad alone for the rest of his time here on this earth. I realize now that the heart doesn't replace, it expands. Once I realized that I could relate it to my own experiences. I've changed best friends over the years, loves have come and gone, but my own heart has never replaced, its just grown bigger to accept more loves. (As its in the process of growing bigger this very moment.) I think the same thing happened when a Woman has more than one child, her heart doesn't replace, it expands - which explains every time that I've asked my mom "who do you love the most" she always responded with "I love you three all the same". A typical mom answer eh? heheheh

So I've been gentle with my dad, it must be hard for him too. I told him that his new lady friend seemed very nice and very pretty too. I think he's rather stunned that I haven't lost it emotionally, lol, my sisters are rather impressed too. I've learned tho that just as I need to make my own choices, and follow my own path, my father needs to do the same. I trust his choices and decisions, and know that what is meant to happen will surly happen. Although I am not 100% okay with his timeline, these choices, (right or wrong - I can't judge him) are his to make. If he realizes that it was too soon, and he carries around guilt for his choices, it will be his to carry, not mine.

So again, thank you all so much for your comments, you've all made a very difficult transition in my life very easy. I am so thankful for all the words of wisdom, advice, heart felt stories and compassion. If any of you are every in the Niagara Falls area of Ontario let me know, I owe you a glass of wine ;)

Embracing the Journey,

One step at a time.

Bret =)

Blogging from my Jail Cell...

Thank the Goddess for my recent rounds (including the one this morning) of Homeopathic treatments! This very blog post could have been made from the inside of a 8x8 foot Jail Cell tonight if it wasn't for my little bottle of Bach Flower Remedies I keep beside me.

I came home from a night at my sisters house to an empty house, with an 1/2 finished bottle of wine and 2 empty wine glasses sitting gingerly on the kitchen table. The house had been freshly cleaned and vacuumed, and towels were folded neatly on the bathroom counter. It was a matter of 20 minuets before my dad came home, with, can I get a drum roll please, his new Girlfriend 'Karen'... First thing I did was make sure the button on my boxers was tightly sealed, but before I could escape into a different room she was in the door and introductions were taking place.

I didn't shake her hand, I barely made eye contact. I'm not too sure why at the time, but after some time to think about it, I think I was afraid to disrespect my moms memory by welcoming her into the house. I'm not too sure what to think, what to feel, what to say... I feel very much dis attached from the situation.

We sat at the kitchen table, my father to the left, and Karen to the right. My back was to the refrigerator, where a clipping of my mothers obituary still hangs. I felt the clipping staring at me. I felt it warm my back, almost as it was slowly burning into me. It was a strange feeling. I spoke to Karen, answering personal questions about home, job and family. I really didn't know what I was saying, I just politely and respectfully answered her questions.

To be very honest, I sat at the table upset (which is a very mild feeling for me). I was upset that only after 1 year and 1 month my father has started to date. Karen isn't a new name around this house, we have been hearing her name, and seeing her number on the call display for a few months now and I've witnessed several messages regarding bottles of wine, and dinner out on the answering machine.

I'm not too sure how to describe how I am feeling only an hour after meeting her, live and in person, right here in the very home where I've grown up. I'm not too sure what I should be feeling. Any ideas? LOL I don't want my dad to be alone for the rest of his life, but part of me expects him to be. I can't go to Wallmart or Momdepot and select a new mom during a 1/2 price clearance sale. The baby doesn't get to have a Grandmother now. Why should he be allowed to move on with his life so easily? It seems that he grieves whenever it suits him. Running his own business he's been late remitting the corporate taxes many time, and his main excuse is: "I just lost my wife..." He hasn't filed a company year end in 3 years. His excuse again is: "I just lost my wife..." He claims to be so distraught that he cannot function in his everyday life (which I think is an excuse) but then brings home a Girlfriend, and expects us to be understanding. Well I assume he expects us to understand.

I think I am feeling anger, which is an emotion I have been working very hard to eliminate from my heart. I recognize it now. I see it trying to take root, I'll choose not to let it consume me, but I won't bury or suppress it. I do realize that I can't be angry or hate my father for his choices. I don't have to live with his choices, they are his to make.

Is a year too soon after death to be dating someone? Should I be sitting down with my dad (an Aries male) to have a heart to heart conversation about how I feel about this? Should I just mind my own business and ignore the situation? Should I embrace the situation and be happy for my dad that he doesn't have to be alone?

I'm feeling a little lost and overwhelmed here....

....trying to embrace my journey

Bret

Mercury in Retrograde

I've had a few questions about Mercury entering Retrograde in the past few days, so here we go! ;)

At 07:18am on Wednesday, September 24th, 2008, Mercury the cosmic trickster turns retrograde in Libra, the sign of the Scales, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup! Acutally, you might have felt the the effects already as the awkward period begins a few days before the actual turning point as Mercury slows down... The retrograde peroid lasts for about three weeks or so, until October 15, just after the Full Moon in Aries, when the Winged Messenger reaches his direct station. At this time he halts and begins his return to direct motion through the zodiac.

Don't get too excited tho, you will still feel "out of sorts" until everything finally straightens out on October 31, as he passes the point where he first turned retrograde. Mercury turns retrograde three times a year, as a rule, but the effects of each period differ, according to the sign in which it happens.

Alot of people ask me "What does Retrograde mean?" Very basically A planet is described as retrograde when it appears to be moving backwards through the zodiac. Modern science says "this traditional concept arises in the illusory planetary motion created by the orbital rotation of the earth with relation to other planets in our solar system. Planets are never actually retrograde or stationary, they just seem that way due to this cosmic shadow-play."

Retrograde periods, although often problematic for us earthlings, are not particularly uncommon. Each planet retrogrades, except the Sun and Moon. Although a powerful astrological influence, Mercury is a small planet that travels at a relatively fast speed through the zodiac. Despite being the closest planet in our solar system to the Sun, it is not always in the same sign as the Sun (for example, although this time Mercury turns retrograde in Libra, the same sign as the Sun, last year Mercury turned in Scorpio while the Sun was in Libra, but headed back into Libra just as the Sun strode into Scorpio).


Fated Events
As a rule, retrograde planets presage a period of seemingly inevitable or fated events that relate to their sphere of influence. They present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no control, relating especially to the sign in which the retrogradation occurs. For example, Mercury retrograde in Scorpio (intensity; sexuality) presents quite different sets of circumstances from those generated when it retrogrades into Libra (relationships; harmony; æsthetics).

A retrograde period is best seen as a cycle, beginning when the planet begins to slow to a halt before travelling backwards through the zodiac and ending when the planet returns to the point where it first paused. However, during the cycle, the planet's energy is most powerful (and more likely to generate critical events of universal importance) when the planet makes a station: appearing motionless in the sky.

These stationary periods occur near the beginning of the cycle (when the planet first halts as it prepares to move backwards) and midway through the cycle when the retrograde planet slows to a stop before moving forward again. The "direct station" (when the planet halts before moving forward again) is the most powerful and can be used for maximum benefit.
Many astrologers consider that the "Mercury Shadow" begins some three weeks before the actual retro station (when Mercury passes the point of direct station for the first time). This has some justification, but I am more inclined to think that the really noticeable peculiarities begin when Mercury slows significantly, a few days before the retro station. This period of "Mercury Shadow" extends to the Return date, some three weeks after the direct station. Bear this in mind, because experience shows that the effects of the retro period are still marked during the "shadow" phase. Some of the most characteristic annoyances often occur just after Mercury makes the direct station, while he is crawling forward before picking up speed.


What does Mercury affect?
In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially people who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, teachers, travellers, tricksters and thieves.

Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.

It is therefore not wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is very likely that these decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed. Make sure you pay attention to the small print!

The Key Issue
The key issue here is one of focus. Mercury's retro phase tends to bring unforeseen changes and blockages, but the aggravation and frustration that many of us experience during these periods is often due to our own inability to roll with the punches. Is this due to our ego-fixation? Mercury sets out to restructure our thinking processes and for many of us this is painful and frustrating. Moreover, these experiences reveal flaws in our internal organisation as well as our external planning, which can make us feel foolish and inadequate.

Mercury retrograde, like any cosmic aspect, affects people differently, depending on where it hits their personal charts. Some people actually prosper under a retro Mercury, especially if Mercury is retrograde but otherwise well-aspected in their birth charts. It is also a time when matters begun under a previous retro period will come to fruition, or completion as the case may be. Firm decisions that have been previously made when Mercury is travelling normally through the zodiac may be implemented or finalised while Mercury is retrograde without too much worry, for experience shows that this can be done without undue problems arising.



Mercury Retrograde in Libra
When Mercury is retrograde, everyone's thinking is more introspective and we tend to think about issues and concerns which relate to the sign involved. With Mercury retrograde in Libra, people with this sign prominent in their charts will be especially prone to such introspection. Libra is a Cardinal Sign, so the other Cardinal Signs, Aries, Cancer and Capricorn will also receive a touch of the lash! Venus, the planetary ruler of pleasure-loving Libra, enters sexy, mysterious Scorpio at the same time (Sep. 24) and remains there until leaving Scorpio to enter Sagittarius on Oct. 18. This stimulates jealousy and intense, passionate emotions, combined with a love of sensation, luxury and pleasures. Excesses of sex and passion, especially among the young, will prove more than usually chaotic over this phase. Religious feeling tends to be intense. Misdirected communications can create jealous marital relations, impulsive behaviour and the need to control relationships.

Mercury retro in Libra can disturb the mental balance, making us more than usually indecisive. Virtue and morality will be under pressure from both sides, combining jealousy and possessiveness with the agonies of doubt and indecision! Sharing ideas, especially those connected with moneymaking and other tangible rewards will present a higher risk. Attempts to maintain objectivity and an unbiased approach are likely to be thwarted and coloured by emotion. Trouble through lawsuits affecting partnerships or an unfaithful marriage partner will afflict those who may be in the relevant situations.

Gossip about celebrities, the arts and salacious topics in general will be rife. Rumours regarding partners, spouses and collaborators in business and joint ventures should be discounted, or at least taken with a dose of salt, especially if sex or money are involved, as the atmosphere will be thick with misinformation and innuendo, particularly leading up to the Full Moon on the 14th of October.

All areas of communication are affected, especially in matters related to the law, partnerships, marriage or the arts. This period brings travel snafus and missed appointments of all kinds. Documents can go astray. Be sure to carry a day planner and refer to it often, hopefully you don't lose the entire day planner! lol

SO! How's everyone feeling?

Embrace the Journey (Even in Retrograde!)
Bret =)

I choose Love rather than Fear, and it makes all the difference.

I think we are very fortunate to be living in an area of the world that is free of war and rampid disease, yet full of freedom; free speech, free religion, and free health care. For the most part, we are free; to make our own choices and decisions in this lifetime. I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I had picked a different blueprint for this life. I could have chosen to be another gender with a different family in another part of the world, but I didn't, I chose this one, I chose to be the man who I am today. Who am I tho, really?



My yoga training involved alot of deep self reflection. I was constantly asked by my Swami this: "Who are you... Really? Who are you, do you ever think about that?" Until then I hadn't thought about it. I just was, well, me. What kind of thought process do you need to entertain a question like that? For weeks I struggled with this and she'd ask me again; "Who are you? When everything else falls away, who are you, and do you truly enjoy the company you keep in the empty moments?" I'd sit in silence during meals, which was our practice, and think about her questions. I would self reflect in my journal for hours upon hours each night. I struggled to find any answer, or at least an answer that I was content with. These are still questions that I ask myself today, years later. Over the past few months, I have been finding myself sitting in those empty moments, I struggle with the company I keep. When everything else fell away, I didn't enjoy the company I kept.


It was a few weeks back when I realized that I had a tool that I had not been utilizing. I realized that I had the power to choose. I could choose for myself to harbour anger for others, or choose forgiveness and to open my heart and release this anger. I could choose to let opportunities and life pass me by or choose to stick my neck out there and risk it, for the adventure of being alive. I could choose to be alone, with a heart grown cold from the bitter betrails of past relationships, or I could choose to open my heart and risk having it broken and love unconditionally as if I'd never been hurt at all. I had choices.

I felt powerful. I felt connected. I felt alive.

About 3 weeks have passed since I re-realized I had the Power of Choice. I have been using this power like Harry Potters magick wand, zapping in new choices and decisions for myself. Some come easy, and some take time. Although I don't feel as if I have everything on my "to decide" list checked off, I am well on my way to personal freedom.

Freedom is in every ones grasp. I have decided I will never stay in a unfulfilled relationship for the sake of being coupled, I will never live in a home that doesn't feel sacred to me, I will never let anyone disrespect my personal temple and I will never lose my power to choose!


I know there are some of us out there that feel they have lost the power to choose, feeling as if they are stuck in a job that doesn't bring pleasure, or a relationship that doesn't feed the soul. I hope we all remember that we are powerful, we can choose to continue these patterns in our life, or make the necessary changes to start fresh. I am going to leave everyone with an affirmation that I have been using for weeks that has helped me out alot...


"What I am today is the result of all that I have done. What I become is my choice, for only I am the creator of my destiny. I am not locked into life as I see it now, I have the ability to make choices and create different paths for my life. This makes me powerful. This makes me wise. I chose personal freedom."

Embrace the Journey,
Bret =)