Thursday, January 1, 2009

Time

Where did 2008 go, does anyone know? I've lost it somewhere around this place, maybe behind the couch, or under the bed or some damn place.

You become.
You became.
You are.
You will be.

This year has sped by. It has not dripped, but rather poured itself into what was, like an hourglass glued to the table. I find it hard to believe, I really do.

Much can happen in 365 days. I am a different person all together. Or perhaps, all apart... I am someone other than who I was, afterall you can't be the same guy even after the passing of a single day.

I have thought about living and I have thought about dying.
I have pondered the complexities of love and the simplicity of hate.
I have read books,
and walked dogs,
and flown around the globe,
and eaten Lasagna,
and washed clothes,
and baked bread,
and cried uncontrollably,
and stared at tall trees,
and contemplated life,
and slept in,
and stood tall,
and thrown my shoulders into my work,
and watched TV until I fell asleep on the couch,
and played with my cat,
and sat in the woods and painted the sunset,
and... and... and... and... You don't ever stop being and doing. I feel like I drift back and forth over the line of what is real and what is not real. I used to think that time is a pretator that stalks all through life, however now I see time as a compannion on our journey through this life and what we leave behind is not as important as how we lived.

Although fast, 2008 was a good year. I did alot of growing, and alot of healing. It's left me in some sort of "slump" tho that I can't see to get out of. I don't even know how to describe it. I just feel bla, maybe its the time of the year, maybe it's the fact that I'm back to work again now... Who knows... My creativity still kinda fades in and out, and when its in, my ambition is out. I just can't seem to get the two to match up. Even now, I am struggling for things to write, you'd think that after a month "vacation" from blogging I'd have LOTS to say... I do have lots to say, I just don't know how to organize it. You can probaby tell my thoughts are very random. lol
I can't fathom what this new year has in it's pockets. I don't want to know. I really don't. I am not much of a planner.I am ready for anything. I just want to be positive and healthy and joyful and optimistic and vital and faithful and kind. I just want to be all that I can be. I want to keep standing. I want to be brave and good. I want to believe that anything is within my grasp and that anything can happen. It can all go good. Life is a dream and I am the dreamer.

Ps. Did I mention that I'm BACK? I wanted to thank everyone as well for the messages you've all left me here and on Bohemian Moms blog too! I really appreciate all your kind words. I have been marked again as a "spam" blog, but at least this time they are letting me post, I just have to enter one of those stupid security codes before I hit the publish button. Some people are just jerks, what can I say? Life keeps a balance...
Until next time,
Embrace the Journey,
Bret =)

19 comments:

Bhavana said...

Welcome back my dear .. you have been sorely missed. Happy New Year!

solsticedreamer said...

oh welcome back lovely i have missed your posting so much an dbeen finding myself what you have been up to and how you are...and here you are with a wonderful post!

looking forwards to sharing 2009 with you :)

Tori said...

Welcome back. A year always has its ups and downs, and you seem to be willing the positive things toward you. Wanting something makes you try for it. You want to be positive and healthy and joyful and optimistic, so you'll probably be those things. =)

I hope 2009 brings lots of happiness to you!

PS- Hi! I found your blog thru Bohemian Mom's. I'm glad you are allowed to post again.

Sacred Suzie said...

Oh how I have MISSED you! I am so glad you're back. I really hope you have a better year in 2009 surrounded by beautiful spiritual people who truly see and honour your special spirit. Happy New Year and welcome back!

I've moved my blog BTW!

Dia said...

Whee! You're back - must have been something in the air - I saw your name on my blogroll, & wanted to check. Great post on the year in passing - looking forward to 2009 - may it be a GREAT year for you!!

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Woo-hoo!!!!
Happy New Year!!
So glad to have you back blogging...I've missed your posts.

Toronto was a blast, as always. I'm home now, and putting away my tree and all those anti-climatic activities that we do after the holidays.

2009 is here....and so is my bi-monthly art/poetry-reading/movie night-tea-party-get-together-with-kindred-spirits-night!!!
I'm working on the invitations tonight!

P.S. My computer needs more memory to support the scanner/copier/printer I got for Christmas!!!
I will need your help installing more ram.
peace out
& Happy 2009!!!!!!!!!

Ayre said...

Glad you're back!!!

iGoddess said...

YAAAAAAAAAH!!

*flying tacklehug*

I've SO missed you!!! *hugs more* You've been very, VERY missed. V-E-R-Y M-I-S-S-E-D!!! =)

and i totally get the "blah" feeling, especially after so much growth, and being through the wringer. then again, as with anything challenging, this perhaps isn't the time for trying to revv up your ambitions. take some time to rest, to build back your muscle, to calm your mind. everything in nature takes a break.

did you know that if certain breeds of venus fly traps don't get a dormancy period, they die the following season? see? being able to rest can sometimes be life-or-death. momma nature's way of saying, "hey! take a break! it's okay."

=) much love, love!

Her Speak said...

Hooray!
It's so good to have you back! I just now you'll find your way out of the "blah labyrinth"--it can be frustrating, but so amazing when the creative wave comes back in full force!

May your New Year be rich in Love, Good Health and Many Blissings!~*

Molly

Moonroot said...

I am so glad you're back - I missed you!!

Wishing you a very Happy New Year.

Nydia said...

Aha!! I'm so happy that you're back!!! Now please stay where you are and don't you leave again!

Thank you for being such a sweet person with your lovely words, Brett, you can't imagine how much they meant to me.

Have a wonderful 2009!

Kisses from Nydia.

CrystalChick said...

Happy New Year! I was gone too. Computer virus. :*( We're all better now so I've come a visiting.
Lots of good times, good health and much happiness to you in '09.

Jane said...

Happy New Year Bret to one of my very favorite bloggers in this community of ours.

I look back on 2008 with such a mixed bag of emotions. Truly, it was the worst of years and the best of years. I'm glad it is behind me and that 2009 holds lots of exciting things.

I'm with you on the creativity lag. I haven't found my groove in so long that I sometimes wonder if I ever had it. This year, I am determined to let it flow in me again; even if it's only a tiny project or two.

Jen said...

Glad you are back. The blahs are a natural part of this time of year. Try to remember that the sun is coming back little by little and with it your energy will increase. Blessings...missed you.

Bohemian Single Mom said...

check your email! :)

Pam said...

Brett!! Yay!! You're back!!

Serena said...

Good to see you're back and posting again. May 2009 be a fantastic year for you!

Love, light and peace,
serena

Sacred Suzie said...

That is the coolest you met Anna Olson! I'm glad she was nicer than you were expecting. Sorry, one oven is enough for me, LOL.

solsticedreamer said...

oh abelated welcome back! i have been so busy finishing up exam work i have been neglecting my blog and blooging friends!
its so good to see you up and running and full of life!

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