Time

Where did 2008 go, does anyone know? I've lost it somewhere around this place, maybe behind the couch, or under the bed or some damn place.

You become.

You became.

You are.

You will be.

This year has sped by. It has not dripped, but rather poured itself into what was, like an hourglass glued to the table. I find it hard to believe, I really do.

Much can happen in 365 days. I am a different person all together. Or perhaps, all apart... I am someone other than who I was, afterall you can't be the same guy even after the passing of a single day.

I have thought about living and I have thought about dying.

I have pondered the complexities of love and the simplicity of hate.

I have read books,

and walked dogs,

and flown around the globe,

and eaten Lasagna,

and washed clothes,

and baked bread,

and cried uncontrollably,

and stared at tall trees,

and contemplated life,

and slept in,

and stood tall,

and thrown my shoulders into my work,

and watched TV until I fell asleep on the couch,

and played with my cat,

and sat in the woods and painted the sunset,

and... and... and... and... You don't ever stop being and doing. I feel like I drift back and forth over the line of what is real and what is not real. I used to think that time is a pretator that stalks all through life, however now I see time as a compannion on our journey through this life and what we leave behind is not as important as how we lived.

Although fast, 2008 was a good year. I did alot of growing, and alot of healing. It's left me in some sort of "slump" tho that I can't see to get out of. I don't even know how to describe it. I just feel bla, maybe its the time of the year, maybe it's the fact that I'm back to work again now... Who knows... My creativity still kinda fades in and out, and when its in, my ambition is out. I just can't seem to get the two to match up. Even now, I am struggling for things to write, you'd think that after a month "vacation" from blogging I'd have LOTS to say... I do have lots to say, I just don't know how to organize it. You can probaby tell my thoughts are very random. lol

I can't fathom what this new year has in it's pockets. I don't want to know. I really don't. I am not much of a planner.I am ready for anything. I just want to be positive and healthy and joyful and optimistic and vital and faithful and kind. I just want to be all that I can be. I want to keep standing. I want to be brave and good. I want to believe that anything is within my grasp and that anything can happen. It can all go good. Life is a dream and I am the dreamer.

Ps. Did I mention that I'm BACK? I wanted to thank everyone as well for the messages you've all left me here and on Bohemian Moms blog too! I really appreciate all your kind words. I have been marked again as a "spam" blog, but at least this time they are letting me post, I just have to enter one of those stupid security codes before I hit the publish button. Some people are just jerks, what can I say? Life keeps a balance...

Until next time,

Embrace the Journey,

Bret =)