Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Blooming

Today I saw that a tulip in my front garden had bloomed, and somehow I felt stuck. The tulip knew it was time to poke his head above the still cool ground, and even found time to produce the most amazing flower which I must have sat on the porch and starred at for 10 minutes. With all the beautiful weather we have been having I had wondered why I haven't stuck my own head above the soil and blossomed. My yoga practice has been suffering, my painting has been almost non existent, and the goddess knows that my blog sure has been lacking. Maybe I'm just a "late bloomer" as my Grandmother would put it, maybe I just need a reason to bloom.

It has been an incredibly long time since I have written here, and to be honest I greatly miss it. Although I have been lurking behind the scenes to see what you all are up too, I haven't used myblog, one of most favourite creative outlets. What you ask? Well, honestly not a hell of alot. I took this Winter off (emotionally) to energize and recharge. I truly hibernated. I feel "back" now tho, signified with this posting, which has been on the tip of my tongue for the past week now. I am vowing to write more often as part of my creative process.

I had an interesting phone call today, from my ex. We haven't spoken in nearly 2 years (this May) and I have missed him everyday since. The call was a surprise, and did not last very long, enough to ask how we were each doing, missing the old times, and he mentioned something about keeping in contact. I'm still half shocked, at the time I was making dinner and took the baking sheet out of the oven without gloves. I felt too sick to my stomach to eat, so I decided to go for a walk, I started down the stairs when I realized I was still in my underwear. I'm still not too sure what to make out of the phone call, what did he want? It's hard to think about him, two years later and I am still in love, covered with scars I did nothing to earn.

I know that I must "seize the day", who knows how many we each have left on this Earth. I do my best to make the best out of each day, but its hard, feeling incomplete. I've never felt that I've needed a significant other to complete me, but isn't it a nice notion to think there is another person out there that compliments your being so well that you feel as if you were one? I'm not too sure what the universe has in store for me, but I'm sure it will be one hell of a journey.

It is midnight now, I work at 8am, so I must be getting to bed. I've created some excellent organic cleaning products in the last month, and I will be sharing the recipes this week, I promise! So check back soon. Also, did you know that Mercury is heading into Retrograde again on May 7th? Mercury is slowing as we speak, do you feel it? Check back before the 7th and I will have some great information to keep you on track while we wait out the planetary changes for this next month!

Until then,
Embrace the Journey.
Bret

9 comments:

Pam said...

Yaaaaaayy!! Don't want to bowl you over with my enthusiasm 'cause it sounds like you might be a bit pensive, but gee I'm glad you're back!Just know how much you've been missed.Phone calls like that out of the blue can be very disarming and disconcerting.Small steps.xx

solsticedreamer~laoi gaul~williams said...

hooray you are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Moonroot said...

I am so glad you're back and OK, even if it sounds like you're a little hesitant. Just yesterday I was reading one of the comments you left on an old blog post of mine and wondering how you are!

It sounds like you needed some time out to hibernate and meditate. Remember to be gentle with yourself if you feel like you're still waking up! After all, not all the trees come back into leaf at the same time. We all have different inner timeclocks.

As for the bolt from the blue phone call, I think that would have sent me reeling too! It seems positive that your ex wants to stay in touch, though.

Anyway, I'm really glad you're back. I missed you!

mrsb said...

Man, I'd been wondering where you were! Glad to see you are back posting. Don't be gone so long again!

Tori said...

Glad you came out of hibernation. =)

Darn, I forgot how close the retrograde was getting. Thanks for the reminder.

Jen said...

So happy to "hear" your voice.
Interesting that your ex calls so close to Beltaine..coincidence? I think not.
Love and blessings!

Dia said...

Hey there - welcome back!!
It is disarming to hear from an old sweetie like that - & as Jen said, interesting timing!! Question is - do YOU want to 'stay in touch' with him?? Stay in your power!
My last flame is teaching a dance class beginning in a few weeks, & I'm so torn!! Love dance classes, & have missed them since our reg. teacher was injured, but do I want to get that close (literaly!) to him??

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Welcome back!!!!!
It is spring and everything is new again!!

Nydia said...

*Sigh* I1m not the best oerson to talk about ghosts phone calls (that's how I call them)... it happened to me before, not a good feeling, exactly when I was recharged and finally getting back to myself after a long time without news from a guy and Boom! A phone call to mess up my mind and heart. This was of course, before I was married to this amazing man. But I still remember the sickness in my on stomach. Slap me for thrusting my nose, but ifthis guy hurt you badlyin the past, breath deeply and forget it.
BUT anyway, whatever you do, you'll have support! :o) Whatever makes you heart sing matters.


Oh, organic products, yes! I need as many recipes as possible from everybody!
Mercury retrogade again... oh gods... I remember last time... I'll try to forget this passage this time, or I'll get impressed and take everything for its fault!

Kisses again.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin