The clock just struck 2am and I am wide awake regardless of the lack of sleep I have been having these past few weeks. I just threw some flour, water, garlic butter, parsley and other ingredients into my bread machine. My brother-in-law called this morning and demanded one of my buttery Parmesan cheese loafs. I love my bread machine, one of my most favourite Garage Sale finds from my Aunt Jean. 2$, brand new in the box, still had the starter kit. I am going to make another loaf for my Dad as well tomorrow, Fathers day.
I have a hard time celebrating Fathers day, it's always been a struggle for me as he's never been much of a Father. My Mom really did play both roles as my Dad was usually found playing hockey, hanging out with the boys, or working on some new car project. When my Mom passed I truly felt as if I were an orphan, especially after loosing my grandmother months before. I had two very strong female role models growing up (which I'm sure explains a few things) and after losing them both I felt very much alone. Both my sisters married, and me of course perpetually single, the closest thing I have to a partner is my Cat, and that is just really sad. Ha-ha.
My Mom "stuck it out" for us while we were growing up. I watched a movie last night with the amazing Boho Mom, (who is such a wonderful mother) which brought me to this post. The movie was "Double Jeopardy". A husband cheating on his wife, faking his own death and pinning it on her. She went to jail, 6 years separated from her young son, never giving up hope of their reunion. Libby (Ashley Judd) said in the movie "Even if a baby is separated from their mother at birth, they will always recognize her voice". I hold that to be true. My Mom, after having an absent husband, raising three small children practically by herself, while looking after my grandparents, ignoring the countless martial affairs my father perused, not to mention the arguments we pretended not to hear late at night; she endured, even to the detriment of her own health. Mothers are funny like that... So when I am sitting at the table tonight, with resentment in my heart, I will take a page from my mothers book and stick it out.
I must be getting to bed now, my eyes are burning.
To the fathers out there, remember that you are molding the next generation. Things you do and say will deeply impact your offspring in the years to come. Be weary of how you treat your wife, your sons will learn from you how to treat their wifes, and your daughters will learn from you how they should be treated from their husbands.
And to all the Single Moms out there, who struggle with this day. Please know that your love is more than enough. You are both Mother and Father to your children, and even tho times might be tough now, they will greatly love, adore and respect you for it in the next years to come.
Happy Fathers Day Mom,
Embrace the Journey