It has been three years since I lost my Mom to cancer.
Three years, and I can't explain how or why it feels like yesterday; should I?
Today I cried, remembered, laughed and cried some more. Tears feel good, for some reason; maybe by design. I still feel that emptiness in my chest, as if both my lungs and heart weren't there, just for a split second, gone.
I spent some time with my sister tonight, shes really the only family I have left. I guess in a way we are orphans. Leslie is pregnant, we found out about 4 weeks ago, shes only 6 weeks along. I feel saddened that my new niece or nephew is deprived of an amazing grandmother. Again, I will do my best to fill that void - out come the crochet hooks and my sewing machine; I've already started to make receiving blankets and granny squares. A void that is impossible for me to fill, I miss my Grams too. What I would give just to be curled up in her lap, quietly.
I'm sad, but tomorrow is a new day, just breathe....
Embracing the journey