My Little Vampire

Its finished!

For my niece Ksenia's first Halloween costume I was asked to sew a vampires cape. Normally first time mothers usually dress their children up in cute cuddly costumes like bears, and tigers, and frogs, but not my sister, she's down with the jazz of Halloween! She was meant to be a vampire for Halloween too; she has 2 top teeth and 2 bottom teeth, her hair makes this cute curl Right in the centre of her forehead, and when shes playing or wants something she makes this really Erie zombie "roar" where she sucks air into the back of her throat, it actually sounds like shes choking. The first time she did that to me I was actually a little afraid... lol

The costume is made of black and red silks back to back, with a cardboard stuffed collar so it pops up around her neck. I've also made here a little bat with button eyes, which hangs from a satin string, and silk wrist cuff with Velcro fasteners. Shes already gotten a hold of the bat a few times and loves to play with it!

I am trying to convince my breast feeding sister to wear a white shirt ripped and covered in blood in all the 'right places' *wink wink*, so it looks like while feeding, the baby has attacked her! I don't think she will do it tho, not all of our family and friends have a sick sense of humour like me! lol

I can't wait to see it on her!
I hope she shares her candy with Uncle Bretty
However, since its now 1:31am and I am finally all finished I am off to bed!

Enjoy your Halloween! :)

Bret

TAGGED!! I've Been Hit!

I love these tags!! I've got a few moments to spare while I catch up on life, this bottle of wine and the rest of the box of chocolate covered cheesecake squares. Yes, they are as wonderful as they sound, and no, you may not have any! hahaha. So here we go! :)

I've been tagged by a few of my blogging friends out here, so here they are!!
The always wonderful Andy at The Spiritual Journey Of A Somerset Pagan
The ever vibrant Solstice Dreamer
A kick ass artist; Jen at Chasing Domestic Bliss
The ever inspiring Nydia at Bringing up Salamanders
A strong woman who brings me to tears all the way from a Welsh Hillside; Moonroot

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Six Random Things About Me:

1. I hate socks. Don't ask me what it is about wearing socks, but I just can't do it. I am very huggy and tactile, and like to feel the world beneath me. I love the feeling of rocks, sand, grass and even snow on my feet. I like to feel connected to the Earth, anyway I can.

2. I am a Gemini, and its VERY obvious. One personality likes to build decks, rewire houses, camp, chop wood, and work on cars WHILE the other personality likes to stay home with the kids (not mine of course) bake cookies, knit, crochet, plant flowers and do facials from the bathtub.... Both very different people who make up my personality.

3. I am claustrophobic, my mom was too. I can't stand to be stuck in tight spaces, or even see people crawl through those cool underground caves on the discovery channel. I have nightmares for weeks when I see that. I dream of being stuck in a tunnel, faced with a dead end, with no room to turn around. Sometimes I wake up gently sobbing.

4. I've been told that I am an amazing kisser and cuddler, however only a very select people know this hehehe. I should open a kissing booth, 1$ - any takers?

5. Birthday/Christmas/Holiday Card shopping makes me cry. I get past about 3-4 cards before I start to cry after reading words that touch or inspire me. I cry very easily, its easy for me to let my guard down. Get that from my mom too... lol I can't fight verbally with someone either, half way through my sentences I cry and make no sense when I'm upset or hurt.

6. My feelings bruise easily and I am easily hurt. The opposite is true as well tho, its the small things in life that bring me great joy and pleasure. Phone calls, little notes and random messages that show you care :)

So there you have it! Six random things about me...
Thank you all for tagging me, I love these, its fun to get to know our fellow bloggers! :)

The six I am tagging at random (hopefully you haven't been tagged already - so feel free to do this, or pass it on) are:

1. BohoMom @ Words from a Single Bohemian Mom - My partner and crime and moving buddy this month!! lol
2. Jennifer @ Crazy, Magic, Sometimes Hectic, Beautiful LIFE! - Always seems to inspire me, I hold on to her words like glue! Check this girl out!!
3. Dee @ iGoddess - Grounding, Centering - like a day at the spa, Dee is where I check my Moral Compass when I'm headed off path.
4. Mary @ Mary Says - One of the kindest, funniest ladies on the Net! Shes a hoot and a 1/2!
5. JJJJJane @ The Painted House - What can I even say really? Jane inspires me, and her words help me climb the rope, and continue on when I think I'm at the end.
6. Amie @ The Cross Stitch Bitch - That's right, she cross stitches AND shes a Bitch! Check out Amie if your a creative bitch (come on - we all know we are)

Keep safe,
Have a wonderful weekend
Embrace the Journey
Bret xoxo

I'm Moving!

In the 4 minuets it will take for the tea kettle to boil, I am writing a new post to keep everyone up to date! My past week, well two weeks really have been super crazy busy! I have been painting mostly, and now in the past few days I have been moving. Small van fulls at a time, furniture, dishes and memories. I have a dishwasher, so the most time consuming thing is washing dishes, each load takes about 45 minuets, and I am running each set of dishes/glassware through 2 loads (just to make sure all the smokey residue from the fire is gone). Everything is coming out nicely tho, and I am very impressed at how my little apartment is again becoming my home.

Its true what they say; home is where the heart is. I had thought I lost that feeling in the fire, but now with the process of moving back I am beginning to feel it again. This is where my heart has been, hiding the whole time. Who would have knew?

I've been able to read a bunch of your blogs, but not make comments yet. I try to make my comments as thoughtful and dear to your heart, as your writing is dear to mine. In the next couple of days I will make up for lost time (blogging from my new couch no less) and be in touch with everyone!

Until then,

Embrace the Journey wherever it leads you.

Home is where the heart is. Its your temple, your sacred space.

Its where your family gathers, your children are raised and your soul resides.

Paint, hang pictures, display artwork. Inject yourself into those blank walls, and your house will truly become your home.

Bret xoxo

The Painted House..

OK, so I stole the title from the always wonderful Jane at The Painted House, but it sorta applies to the last week or two of my journey. I've made the decision, written the checks and started to move back into my old/new apartment in the historic Victorian house in Niagara Falls. It was quite a decision to make, but in the end I had to take my own advice and realize that the universe is looking out for me, this is part of my path, and part of my journey, and everything happens for a reason. Ultimately in the end, I figured that if the powers that be didn't want me to move back in, they would have torched the whole house! lol

I opened the front door to reveal a sense of home that I thought I had lost. With my friend Amie by my side, I walked in only to discover that they had painted the entire apartment their standard Yellow. Now, when I say yellow, I don't mean a nice shade of cream, or a calming golden poppy, it screamed lemon yellow!

First thing was first. I headed to home depot and found my old colour swatches for the living room. If you remember (pictures in a few posts below) my living room was a medium shade of chocolate, and my hallway was creme. I had a few cans of paint mixed, along with a few recycled cans that my sister was finished with and set to work.

In the first night of painting my friend Julie (who conveniently lives only 4 doors down) finished the living room, kitchen and hallway. It sure helped to have a second hand. She cut in all the corners and trim, and I came along with the roller and rolled on my fab colours! The next night I took my bed linens into Home Depot and they colour matched them to a paint colour called Canadian Sky, I love it, and in a few hours finished my bedroom. Check out these pictures! ;)

The only problem I am really having is the two bathrooms. The floors are now very dark - as they were the old hex shaped glass tiles before, now they are dark tiles in shades of browns and red. Prior to the fire, my bathrooms were blue, spa like, but it seems now that my old decor wont match with the new, which is okay. I can adapt, change is good, right?? *Bites Fingernails*

I was thinking to either paint the two bathrooms the Kitchen Green (fully) or do a beige on the bottom, green or brown on the tops, and accessorize accordingly. What does everyone think? I could REALLY use some decoration advice here!! I can't see the finished product like I normally would, my old bathroom is still stuck in my mind! Check these pictures to give you a better idea of the layout and design....

See how the floors are now so dark? I don't do dark well... I wanted the bathroom to be, fresh, and alive, and spa like. Something calming and relaxing, not comfortable and homey... Does that make sense?? hehehe So what do you think? ;)

Also, just a painting tip for everyone. There is no easy way to say this... No gentle way to put it... So here it goes... Those with da Fat Ass should not stand a chair to paint! That's right, This Guy's fat ass did a little chair damage over the weekend, however the constant laughter of the site in which I left the chair kept both Julie and I rather amused. So if you have a weak stomach, and hate to see a good chair in pain, you may not want to look at the next picture...

Yup, that's all that is left of it. As it lays in ruins on the hallway floor I can only imagine that out there some tree hugging hippie heart is breaking at the thought that a tree was cut down to build this chair, only to have my fat ass break it to provide some comic relief in an other wise boring afternoon...

Embracing the Journey, while ladder shopping...

Bret =)

turkey... Turkey... TURKEY!!!

It is now the end of what was a very long and filling day. I went to bed last night organizing recipes and times in my mind, figuring out when to prepare the pies, when to chop the bread for the stuffing, and when to baste the turkey. I was also laying in bed thinking about my mom, and how she is missing another family holiday.

I awoke in the morning, feeling the weight of perfection on my shoulders. Mom always prepared dinners with ease; being able to time the turkey, stuffing, pies and potatoes perfectly. She made it look so easy, I still haven't figured out how she accomplished this. I struggled this morning with getting the pumpkin pies in the oven early enough so I would have time to cook the turkey for 5 hours, while allowing me time to prepare and bake the stuffing as well (we don't stuff the bird here - my sister wont eat stuffing that way... Can't blame her, considering where its being stuffed...) Which brings me to another point, I really feel bad; I had my hand up that turkeys ass all morning and I didn't even take her out to the movies! There just didn't seem to be enough time for everything I had to do. I never realized how much work went into a meal until I took over cooking years ago.

Overall dinner went off well, and 6 hours of baking, cooking, boiling and roasting were concluded with 38 minuets of eating. Isn't that how it always goes? You spend the whole day cooking and a fraction of that time eating. Does that piss off anyone else, or is it just me? lol

There are more dishes in the sink than I can shake a stick at. I usually don't mind washing and drying, but tonight I'd rather go soak in the bath tub. My Grandmother loved to wash dishes, I'm not too sure why. She'd always tell me that when she was growing up the neighbours could tell when she and her siblings were washing dishes - they'd say "oh the Schaeffer kids are singing, they must be washing up the dishes again". I always laughed at that story because my Grams had an awful singing voice, however she claimed quite the opposite in her younger days...

She would sing "oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going my way..." I can still hear her voice, and its funny because when I wake up in the morning, and the sun is shining its the first thing that comes to mind, sometimes I find myself humming it... She was also famous for other classics such as "arc du lieber augustine" which is a German song about kids with shit in their pants, and the Lemonade song, which went like this "lemonade lemonade 5 cents a glass, if you don't like it stick it up your ass." She wasn't all knitted sweaters and crochet blankets you know ;) lol My mom didn't always approve of her musical teachings...

Its funny the things you remember years later, memories that are triggered by familiar smells and actions. I swear I could smell my moms perfume in the kitchen when I was struggling with the baking. I could feel her gentle guidance when I asked aloud if I bake the pie shells before I fill them, or how much celery salt to use in the stuffing.

So today I am thankful for her recipes. It may not seem like much to some, but they have helped to keep her spirit alive. As I grasped the wooden spoon to stir the pumpkin filling on the stove I felt her hand guide mine, giving me the strength I needed to get through the day. Thanks Mom!

Now that I am exhausted, I am off to bed!

Embrace the Journey

Bret :-)

Closets are for Clothes!

Inspired by the ever lovely Sacred Suzie I wanted to write a little bit about my "coming out" experience. Now, like Suzie, I've also transitioned from being in the "broom closet" to being out, but unlike Suzie that wasn't the last of my closet renovations ha-ha! I've also come out of the other closet, you know... The "closet" closet.

Being and accepting the fact that I was gay was actually surprisingly easy for me as the majority of my past lives were as a woman, it just seemed normal for me oddly enough. Telling others of my sexual preferences tho was difficult. A very select few of my friends knew in High school, I was very lucky to have a friend who was also a lesbian - and the perfect prom date; no pressure! Through High school and into my adult life I have always kept friends who are open minded, non-judgemental, and accepting. Even tho I grew up in a small city, friends like this weren't hard to find, we just sort of found each other by instinct. I was never ridiculed, or made fun of. No one centered me out or hazed me. There have been so many young lives lost, or taken because of their sexual preferences. I've certainly been lucky.

Coming out to my family was a little more difficult. My sisters have always been supportive, and from a young age (before I was ready to come out) they would constantly say to me: "Bret, we know you are Gay, its okay, we are your sisters, we love you and will always be here for you..." I denied it for a while, I think I was afraid to disappoint them. It was several years into my teenage years before I sat them down and exposed my sexuality. The typical response from them was: "Bret, we know, its okay. Can we go clothes shopping now?" lol

My mom was the person whom I was most afraid to tell, not because I thought she would disapprove, or disown me, but because I didn't want her to think for a second that she had did something wrong in rearing me. I didn't want her to feel that if she had done things different my life would be different, less complicated and therefore better. After all, all moms only want the best for their children... She stood silently in the kitchen washing dishes. I entered the room, quietly. I started to tell her; slowly engaging her in conversation, I said firstly, "mom did you hear that Rosie O'Donnell just came out of the closet, she is a LESBIAN!" She put down the dish she was washing without blinking an eye, and with her tea towel slung over her shoulder she put her hand on mine, and whispered gently, "Bret, it's okay, Mom's know these things..." and by the look in her big, accepting, loving brown eyes I knew that she knew. She smiled at me and picked up another dirty dish. I remember feeling lighter afterwards.

My dad has been another story, being an Aries male, he doesn't have any emotions except for distrust, anger and hate. He's never accepted me, and its taken me a long time to realize that I don't need his acceptance. I wont bore anyone with my sob story of how my dad has treated me over the years, and still continues too, but I've become a much stronger man in the past couple of months and no longer allow him to disrespect my personal temple. He actually refuses to come to family events that I host at my apartment in fear of running into a gay friend, or something else gay... I was shocked when he first admitted the reason why he hadn't visited, ever, in the 18 months I resided there. I think he must assume that while I'm making Thanksgiving dinner I host a gay orgy, and take breaks every 25 minuets to baste the turkey. Maybe hes just afraid to "catch the gay". It doesn't affect my spirit any longer.

Coming out of the Broom Closet was alot more difficult. I've always struggled with my personal beliefs. Throughout the years, even tho I've kept friends who are open minded and accepting, there have been a few who have turned their backs on me. Mostly out of fear. I find that people don't give the time for you to explain your convictions, after all its much quicker to pass judgement and walk away than to listen. Not that i've ever advertised my religious beliefs, or thrown them in any ones face I have always taken part in many Pagan/Wiccan activities; everything from reading tarot cards to raise money for the food drive "Project Share" in Niagara falls, to drumming circles and festivals. I've only been told a handful of times that I will burn in hell, or that I have no soul, and I've only had holy water thrown on me 3 times, I consider myself pretty lucky, it could have been worse. During a canned goods collection drive for less fortunate families in my community, a Christian group showed up to protest our efforts. They had signs and everything! They were chanting something to the affect that every non perishable food item we touched would be damned and unholy. Finally I yelled out "It's canned Peas! Of course its unholy!" They weren't impressed. It was sad, but as events progressed I actually had to phone the police, they had turned to throwing rocks at us, like it was 1604 or something.


My family of course had always been accepting, and follow the same path as me. My mom allowed us to explore different religions for ourselves, she believed that like Rome, God had many roads to him as well. My mom was very Magickal herself. Being the source of premonitions, psychic insight, empathic ability and clairvoyance she's always been their to guide us. My dad on the other hand is a "born again Christian", the kind that drink, swear, gamble, cheat on their wives and steal. I've never expressed my religious beliefs to him, although I do debate some Christian ideals with him. I've always said, what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him. lol There would just be no point. I won't give him another reason to try to desecrate my personal temple.

So there you have it, "This Guy's Journey" out of the Closets. Like I always say, like it or not, this is who I am, this is who I will always be. It's not a choice, it's just the direction my soul is taking this time around. Always be true to yourself.

Embrace the Journey,
Bret =)