So I find myself in the same shoes as I did nearly 4 months ago when my apartment caught fire and forced me to move back to my childhood home... I remember that week as if it had just passed. Sitting comfortable in my living room on a Thursday evening having tea with my friend Amie chatting about the days events. I spoke with her about my struggles, if I should give up my apartment and move back in with my dad to help him out, and keep better care of the family business since my moms passing. We weighed the pro's and con's and it still didn't help me come to any decision. Now anyone who knows me well enough understands that I do not make decisions, not even easy ones, and if we have plans together, you had better make them, or else we'd just end up bantering back and fourth saying "I don't know, what do you want to do."
A couple of hours later Amie had left and I was sitting alone, well semi alone, Friskey was around, but not very talkative. I opened my book, looking for guidance, advice, herbs, rituals or an incantation that would help me make a decision. I found one, a Spell to make decisions. I gathered herbs, placed my crystals, lit candles and carried on with my spell. Upon completion I was hoping for a vision, a dream, a message, some sort of instant result that I had been used too, but nothing came.
I didn't want to give up my apartment, I really loved it, but I didn't want to let my dad fend for himself, and plus, I would basically be at the house getting the business back in order all day, everyday (none of the books were done after my mom took ill in 2006 - so I had 2 years to catch up on.)
It would be days until my spell finally delivered a decision for me, in the form of an apartment fire. I should have seen it coming too, the universe certainly delivered a number of messages to me that went unnoticed or ignored. The days leading up to the fire Amie and I had discussed my options for Apartment Insurance in case Goddess forbid my house should catch ablaze! I was even downloading the movie "Things we lost in the fire", my sister had recommended it to me. The day after my apartment had burnt down, I plugged my laptop in to check to see if it was still running, and after I had logged into Windows a little pop up message was there saying "Things we lost in the fire is Complete", the movie had finished downloading! I just shook ed my head and laughed. What do you do, other than laugh I mean...
SO, bringing to me to the present... My apartment is ready, or rather will be ready on October 1st, give or take a few weeks. I was presented with the option from my Landlords to either move back in, or not, that it was up to me. I said yes, I will be returning. I am left wondering if I have made the right decisions. Amie asked me tonight if I had "weighed the pro's and con's". What is with this woman and weighing my options! Usually I just jump into something with out looking first! lol I have, I think I have at least. I am jobless as it stands right now, but I could easily find a job, or so I think, I just have to get my resume out there..... If I had a job, I wouldn't second guess it, but then again I would, because I don't know if I would be getting a job in St Catharine's or Niagara Falls, or 40 Min's away in Fort Erie... Fort Erie would be nice, because its close to my family, but I don't want an 80 min commute every day... Chances are I will be working close to the Falls, or St. Catharine's... I just can't seem to make a decision on what should I do, and I don't think I will be casting the Decision spell this time... hahaha
Here are my options:
Move in to my old place in the Fall and hope I find a job.
Keep living at my dads, find a job, then find a NEW place in that city
Move to BC, live in the mountains with monks, do yoga and e-mail everyone once a year