Tuesday, September 2, 2008

...lost

I'm just in one of those moods tonight. I am feeling lonely, unloved, and lost. I even went as far to check to see if Mercury was in Retrograde, but its not until Sept 24th. I've realized recently that I do not want to go back to my old apartment. First of all, repairs are taking way too long, and I do believe I was "ejected" out of there for a reason, and shouldn't be going back. I just don't think its part of my journey to return. I have to admit my sisters were right. I am in the process of looking for a stable, well paying job, which would dictate where I should be living anyways. Ideally I would like a job closer to the Fort Erie area, its a great community, and only minuets from my Family. I would love to have a lofty type apartment on Ridge Road, the main road in Ridgeway. Its an up and coming area, with its quaint shops, and home style restaurants; it feels young, fresh, trendy and full of history.

I need to update my resume with my latest work information and start getting it out there. I am truly discouraged by the interview process. Quite frankly it scares the hell out of me! There is nothing like being sat down, and judged on the things you speak. Its almost like public speaking, I do not envy the kids returning to school, I still have nightmares about doing speeches in front of my classmates.


Speaking of dreams and nightmares, I haven't been able to recall any of them recently. I think its been a month since I can last remember a dream, which is very unusual for me. I feel very unbalanced and off centre lately. I think its a combination of being out of my space, seeing my belongings in bins and boxes, not being able to continue with my yoga and meditation practices. I need a new home, fast!

For years I have heard about "Bach Flower Remedies". Basically they are a selection of 38 flower essences (such as Crab Apple, Vine, and Willow) that work to correct emotional imbalances. For example...


Star of Bethlehem
"For those in great distress under conditions which for a time produce great unhappiness. The shock of serious news, the loss of someone dear, the fright following an accident, and such like. For those who for a time refuse to be consoled, this remedy brings comfort." - Dr. Edward Bach





I have a friend of mine that works with the remedies, and I am hoping to meet with her Friday morning for a consultation, you can add up to 7 of the flower essences into a treatment bottle. I think I need all 38! hahaha You can check out all 38 essences HERE.

It's truly days like this that I thank the Stars that I have an emergency Cheese Cake in the freezer! I've actually reduced myself to tears this evening. If it wasn't anatomically impossible I'd think I was about to start my period! hahaha Yes, we guys get PMS too... lol Maybe that explains the bloating!

Anywho, I am going to Post this and pick up a paint brush and see what I am inspired to create.
Until next time, embrace the Journey.
Bret =)

13 comments:

michellechant said...

honey ... just be yourself ... visualise the job you want, the people you want to work with ... and when you go for the interview, just be yourself.

magic can happen! trust me!!

Sacred Suzie said...

Oh it is so clear that you're under the moon in some way or other. This can come from not feeling grounded and when you don't have a home, how is being grounded possible? It sounds like you know what you want to have happen: where you want to live and successfully finding a good job. Why not dreamboard it perhaps? Just for you so you can see it, feel it, bond with it. You deserve all of these wonderful things and if you don't listen to that voice in your head telling you to not go back...well, it's probably just a good thing to listen to is all I'm saying. But it's all about to you, you have the power. Enjoy the yoga, I would recommend a lot of floor exercises and let go of the emotions to the earth. She will transform them into something beautiful.

Ayre said...

Your whole life is a whirlwind right now, how can you NOT feel lost?? Slowly but surely, things will start to fall into place for you and you'll be able to become balanced again. Update your resume, that's the first step...then we'll look at apartments and so on...I can't wait for you to feel better!! :D Hugs xoxox

Jane said...

I'm glad I found you through Boho's blog. Love your posts. I so relate to the whole living space and work issues. I'm still seeking my true calling. I've been getting resumes out here and there and using the on-line job boards. Very frustrating.

I love dreams and haven't had any in a while. It bothers me because dreams tell me so much.

I've done the bach flowers. Rescue Remedy is good and I'm trying the St. John's Wort.

Trust your gut feeling about going back to that living space.

This Guy said...

Thanks everyone for your kind words! =) I think its a combination of everything, the moon, mercury is soon in retrograde, im not grounded, im not balanced, im just AHHHHH!!! GOOD news is I have an appointment Friday Morning for Bach Flowers and to be treated Holistically. I am just gonna have to find the time to do my meditation and yoga and all my good stuff... I will keep everyone updated!
Again, thanks so much for the well wishes, it means alot to me!

Moonroot said...

So sorry to hear you're feeling down. You have been so kind to me when I have been feeling bad, I wish I could do the same for you!

It sounds like much of your life is in a state of upheaval right now, it's not really surprising if you're feeling off-kilter. But I think it's really good to trust your instincts as you seem to be doing about the apartment.

Bach Flower remedies really work - the trick is getting the right one (so many to choose from!). So I think finding a practitioner to advise you on which to use is really smart. I'm sure the remedy you get will help.

I feel extremely off balance too right now. How about we hold eachothers hand through this?

Sending you a hug OXOXOXO

Nydia said...

Hi ther, Sorry only today I could come here and write. I nkow how it is to be in this gloomy mood. That's why I'm sure it will pass soon!

About the job interviews, I ve been there so many times! Just be yourself indeed. Of course they're judging you, that's THEIR job, but you can't and don't want to "pretend" to have another personality to please everybody, s relax, and show who you are. Things will be ok, you'll see.

I believe in Bach's medicine. My husband is studying homeophaty, and it's impressive how things really works. Go for it. And chin up! :o)

Kisses from Nydia.

Nydia said...

Hi again, Bret! Just let something for you at my page, hope you like it! :o)
Kisses from Nydia.

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Well, bring over that cheesecake and I break open my emergency bag of Tostitos and we'll have PMS together.
First of all, Rescue remedy is amazing. I first tried it years ago, and it's bizarre how it works for everything!
Dream job and dream apartment....hmmm...I can RELATE!
Manifest it. Picture it and then drive around and look for those "help wanted" and "for rent" signs. The universe will lead you in the right direction - it has so far, right?
xo
missed ya!

mrsb said...

Hi! Just found your blog via Nydia's blog. I've really enjoyed reading through it, and am so impressed at the blankets you made your niece! Wow! I wish I could sew like that!

I'm sorry you are going through a tough time. Try to stay positive. Looks like you have a lot of support here!

solsticedreamer said...

ohhh sorry you feel so bad right now, i know how you feel about living out of boxes...a lot of my stuff is still in bags and boxes and i have never felt so removed from my spirituality as i do right now...its hard to meditate and do yogo and work with my green man cards in a mess of a house...thinking of you
xoxo

This Guy said...

Thanks again everyone for your kind messages of support! :) I had a consultation with a homeopathic specalist Friday morning (which lasted 4 hours lol) and I picked up a few things, I'll have a great new post sometime today! :D

Carnal Zen said...

Ever notice that resume and resume are spelled the same. Just resume your life, your sentences where you left off and be who you are. The right position will come to you - so why give the worry energy?

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