I think we are very fortunate to be living in an area of the world that is free of war and rampid disease, yet full of freedom; free speech, free religion, and free health care. For the most part, we are free; to make our own choices and decisions in this lifetime. I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I had picked a different blueprint for this life. I could have chosen to be another gender with a different family in another part of the world, but I didn't, I chose this one, I chose to be the man who I am today. Who am I tho, really?
My yoga training involved alot of deep self reflection. I was constantly asked by my Swami this: "Who are you... Really? Who are you, do you ever think about that?" Until then I hadn't thought about it. I just was, well, me. What kind of thought process do you need to entertain a question like that? For weeks I struggled with this and she'd ask me again; "Who are you? When everything else falls away, who are you, and do you truly enjoy the company you keep in the empty moments?" I'd sit in silence during meals, which was our practice, and think about her questions. I would self reflect in my journal for hours upon hours each night. I struggled to find any answer, or at least an answer that I was content with. These are still questions that I ask myself today, years later. Over the past few months, I have been finding myself sitting in those empty moments, I struggle with the company I keep. When everything else fell away, I didn't enjoy the company I kept.
It was a few weeks back when I realized that I had a tool that I had not been utilizing. I realized that I had the power to choose. I could choose for myself to harbour anger for others, or choose forgiveness and to open my heart and release this anger. I could choose to let opportunities and life pass me by or choose to stick my neck out there and risk it, for the adventure of being alive. I could choose to be alone, with a heart grown cold from the bitter betrails of past relationships, or I could choose to open my heart and risk having it broken and love unconditionally as if I'd never been hurt at all. I had choices.
I felt powerful. I felt connected. I felt alive.
About 3 weeks have passed since I re-realized I had the Power of Choice. I have been using this power like Harry Potters magick wand, zapping in new choices and decisions for myself. Some come easy, and some take time. Although I don't feel as if I have everything on my "to decide" list checked off, I am well on my way to personal freedom.
Freedom is in every ones grasp. I have decided I will never stay in a unfulfilled relationship for the sake of being coupled, I will never live in a home that doesn't feel sacred to me, I will never let anyone disrespect my personal temple and I will never lose my power to choose!
I know there are some of us out there that feel they have lost the power to choose, feeling as if they are stuck in a job that doesn't bring pleasure, or a relationship that doesn't feed the soul. I hope we all remember that we are powerful, we can choose to continue these patterns in our life, or make the necessary changes to start fresh. I am going to leave everyone with an affirmation that I have been using for weeks that has helped me out alot...
"What I am today is the result of all that I have done. What I become is my choice, for only I am the creator of my destiny. I am not locked into life as I see it now, I have the ability to make choices and create different paths for my life. This makes me powerful. This makes me wise. I chose personal freedom."
Embrace the Journey,