Saturday, September 20, 2008

I choose Love rather than Fear, and it makes all the difference.

I think we are very fortunate to be living in an area of the world that is free of war and rampid disease, yet full of freedom; free speech, free religion, and free health care. For the most part, we are free; to make our own choices and decisions in this lifetime. I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I had picked a different blueprint for this life. I could have chosen to be another gender with a different family in another part of the world, but I didn't, I chose this one, I chose to be the man who I am today. Who am I tho, really?



My yoga training involved alot of deep self reflection. I was constantly asked by my Swami this: "Who are you... Really? Who are you, do you ever think about that?" Until then I hadn't thought about it. I just was, well, me. What kind of thought process do you need to entertain a question like that? For weeks I struggled with this and she'd ask me again; "Who are you? When everything else falls away, who are you, and do you truly enjoy the company you keep in the empty moments?" I'd sit in silence during meals, which was our practice, and think about her questions. I would self reflect in my journal for hours upon hours each night. I struggled to find any answer, or at least an answer that I was content with. These are still questions that I ask myself today, years later. Over the past few months, I have been finding myself sitting in those empty moments, I struggle with the company I keep. When everything else fell away, I didn't enjoy the company I kept.


It was a few weeks back when I realized that I had a tool that I had not been utilizing. I realized that I had the power to choose. I could choose for myself to harbour anger for others, or choose forgiveness and to open my heart and release this anger. I could choose to let opportunities and life pass me by or choose to stick my neck out there and risk it, for the adventure of being alive. I could choose to be alone, with a heart grown cold from the bitter betrails of past relationships, or I could choose to open my heart and risk having it broken and love unconditionally as if I'd never been hurt at all. I had choices.

I felt powerful. I felt connected. I felt alive.

About 3 weeks have passed since I re-realized I had the Power of Choice. I have been using this power like Harry Potters magick wand, zapping in new choices and decisions for myself. Some come easy, and some take time. Although I don't feel as if I have everything on my "to decide" list checked off, I am well on my way to personal freedom.

Freedom is in every ones grasp. I have decided I will never stay in a unfulfilled relationship for the sake of being coupled, I will never live in a home that doesn't feel sacred to me, I will never let anyone disrespect my personal temple and I will never lose my power to choose!


I know there are some of us out there that feel they have lost the power to choose, feeling as if they are stuck in a job that doesn't bring pleasure, or a relationship that doesn't feed the soul. I hope we all remember that we are powerful, we can choose to continue these patterns in our life, or make the necessary changes to start fresh. I am going to leave everyone with an affirmation that I have been using for weeks that has helped me out alot...


"What I am today is the result of all that I have done. What I become is my choice, for only I am the creator of my destiny. I am not locked into life as I see it now, I have the ability to make choices and create different paths for my life. This makes me powerful. This makes me wise. I chose personal freedom."

Embrace the Journey,
Bret =)

13 comments:

Bohemian Single Mom said...

man, you can write!!
This is so inspiring...and true.
We create our own reality and are happiest when we come to terms with that.
You've made me feel better about poor choices I've made in the past - I don't regret them because they have all added up to who I am today.
Awesome post!!!
*hugs

michellechant said...

I agree with G ... you CAN write honey pie!

Its true, we do create our own reality.

Initiation and awakening move the soul toward new pastures of experience: places we didn’t dare visit, situations we shied away from, inner stirrings we thought we should suppress.

This is the time to break free, to be responsible and do no harm, while meeting the void of the unknown with an open heart and wing.

mich
x.

Pink Heels said...

Why didn't I know about your blog until today? Wow!!! I LOVE IT!!!

I am so glad that you posted a comment on Suzie's cult...heh, heh, heh...so that I could find your blog.

Sacred Suzie said...

"Who are you... Really? Who are you, do you ever think about that?" Interesting, I think she may be the Queen of Wands and you're ready to take her advice and create real change.

And we are so much powerful than we realize! We can change everything about our lives. I love the affirmations you have come up with. The release of anger yet healthy boundaries and high standards. That is an incredibly powerful shift!

solsticedreamer said...

B you write such amazing words {hug} i read this once then had to come back again for a re-read!

like others here i have made poor past choices and have had regrets but yes like others they have made me the person i am today and gosh your words have made me think about who iam and choices and think i will be dwelling on them for a few days...funny you should write this at mabon :)

Jennifer said...

dude!! This is so cool and so true. really. first of all you are an amazing writer!! kudos to you.

And this post is such an eye opener... i think we all forget a lot of things... and first and foremost we forget who we are... really truly who we are under it all and we also forget that this IS our lives and we do have the right to choose what we do with it. The book is still unwritten... we have the voice the power, the actions to choose whatever we want our pages to say. The pen is in our hands... and if we feel it isn't then we have to take control back.

I love that I found you and this blog.. you are very inspiring and I need that. I need to read the words that give me strength and hope and courage... and most of all a positive outlook. I'm not always the most positive person and I really dislike that about myself, but I do know I can change it... I can change anything.

there are a lot of "issues" that I want to work on within myself... I don't like the company I keep when I'm alone either... I want to be a better Mother first of all, and I want to be a better wife and a better friend... I want to be a better person. I know I can do all this... I just needed someone to open my eyes, my mind and my heart & soul to see that it really all is possible... and I have it all right here... right within my grasp. I can change who I am today. I can change who I am going to be tomorrow... I'm going to work on those changes starting now.

No regrets... they are just parts of life that have made me the person I am today... to know which direction I have to go in to make the changes to better things for me and my family and those around me.

thank you for another heart-felt and touching post...

xoxoxo best wishes!!

PS... thank you SOOOO much for the camera advise... I took the battery out and am trying that 24 hard reset and seeing if that helps, then I will also give it a few gentle drops on the counter or floor... maybe the carpeted floor will be best for the lens and see if that does the trick. :) I've got my eye on the Canon XSi Rebel, but that is kind of pricey... and I really want/need to go check it out in the store and play around with it... so we'll see... even if my camera does come back to life... which I'm hoping for b/c I'm the kind of girl that takes pictures EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I want to get a newer one. So we'll see... I'll keep you posted.

thanks again.
=)

(also sorry for rambling and leaving such long comments... it just seems to be my style) =)

wellesley3 said...

who needs chicken soup for the soul when bret's blogs are here for the reading... another great entry.... all i can say is thank you!! this touches so many aspects of growing and self actualization, that i feel like i'm reading it for the first time with each read!!

again thanks,

from the road in halifax

wellz

mrsb said...

Bravo! I totally believe that we write our own path, and that if we decide to be happy and free, we can create that destiny for ourselves.

Wonderful post!

Jane said...

Bret,

Ditto to all the kudos written here. Great and inspiring writing as always.

It has been one of life's continuing lessons for me: learning to embrace who I am and loving my own company. I've always been a firm believer that a person can't radiate love out in to the Universe if they don't love themselves at the most basic level.

Yes to the power of choice! Living with compassion and forgiveness is an amazing thing. We have the power to create so much in our lives with just our thoughts. If we choose to see only limitations, that's what we'll get. But if we turn it around to seeing the possibilities and beauty around us, so much more is waiting for us.

love and light,
Jane

Nydia said...

I gree with everyone here, Bret! You can write so well! And what a thought provoking post. Yes, there are many things we are able to choose, specially concerning how we feel about many things in our lives. We often forget that indeed. I always choose to be grateful than resentful. When I look around and see how many people live in horrible situation, I don't curse my life. I am grateful for who I am ad the family that I was born at. As Boho said, even the worng/bad choices make the pavement of our roads!

That's great watching you building such a strong spirit with your reflexions.

Kisses from Nydia.

CrystalChick said...

The journey is quite interesting, unique to each of us in some ways, and in others we're all going thru the same things.
Of course it's always best when done with love rather than in fear. And you are right, choosing different things and creating different paths does make us powerful and wise! Well said.

I notice that you made mention of the Mercury Retrograde period in another post. Are you fairly knowledgeable about astrology?
I just attended a lecture on Friday night and a workshop on Saturday. The workshop was on Chiron. Being a comet in orbit between Saturn and Uranus, some don't find it significant but for those of us who do, it can be one of those things that when interpreted in a birth chart, can help open doors. In astrology, we use keywords, and for Chiron, a few that help explain it, are 'turning point', 'healing' and 'making whole'.

You have an inquiring mind and a big heart and I'm glad I stumbled across your blog. I enjoy reading your posts. :)
Have a happy day. M

Pam said...

I think one of the best things you did was to post on Suzie's site. I never would have found you otherwise. I like your insights and viewpoints. Hug to you.

Ayre said...

I have never really sat down and thought about who I am. It's a difficult question to answer to say the least...thanks for making me ponder :)

Choosing love rather than fear is a wonderful decision...way to go on making one!!

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