Sacred Sunday ... Baking with Grams

There are many things to me that are sacred, most relate to my childhood, at a time when I felt safe, complete and greatly loved. Before I knew what paying bills was all about, or the sadness caused by death and great loss, and long before my first broken heart, I was carefree, when the only disappointment was sleeping in too late on a Saturday morning and missing a Scooby doo episode.

This is the period in my life that shaped the man I am today, the good and bad. Time spent with my Mother and Grandmother, sacred time, memories that I cherish because they are all I have left. Time is cruel, only moving forward, never letting us revisit the past, like an hourglass glued to the table.

We had my Uncles 65th birthday yesterday, a family reunion, at my Aunt and Uncles farm in the Country, it felt incomplete. The family; separated by death, divorce and feuding. My grandmother was the glue, the matriarch of our family, the one who organized Christmas', birthdays and picked me up that one time I ran away from home. When my grandmother took ill the responsibility naturally passed to my mother, only a daughter-in-law, but too my grams so much more. Since my moms passing two years ago I've tried my best to fill the gaps left behind. Planning family dinners, quilting blankets for the baby, working in the flower beds, doing my best to honor them both everyday, in the traditions in which they raised me. I miss them terribly.

I was always taught to be a grateful guest and never arrive empty handed. My Aunt was having the celebration catered, but my sister and I told her that we would also bring some deserts as well. My younger sister Leslie baked 50 'butter tarts', one of Grams most favourite recipes. I spent Saturday morning baking as well and made 6 pies; 2 Graham Wafer, 2 Field Berry, and 2 Lemon Meringue. I have my Grandmothers crystal flour, sugar and tea canisters, and her talent for pastry. When I bake I feel her in the room with me, often catching a whiff of her "Explanation" perfume.

Here are some pictures from my morning of baking:

Getting the Dough Ready for the Pie Crusts

Lining the Bake Pans with the Dough

Field Berry (Bumble Berry Pie) Filled with Strawberries, Raspberries
Blackberries, Blueberries and Rhubarb.

The Meringue Pies Browning up in the Oven

The Thin Coat of Flour on my Kitchen Floor!
Yes, I am a messy baker ;)

The pies were a hit and my uncles said they tasted just like my Grandmothers. In no time at all the butter tarts and pies were gone, leaving some of the birthday cake untouched. I felt honored to carry on one of my Grandmothers traditions. I am thankful for my Aunt who planned the occasion, its hard to get together these days.

My Great Aunts came too. It was hard, they look so much like my Grandmother, and sound just like her too. I found myself closing my eyes while they spoke, pretending I was listening to my Grams, seeing her face in my mind. Tears that somehow found their way past my tightly closed eyelids were quickly brushed away and went unnoticed. All in all, it was a wonderful day.

Now for me, I better get back to scrubbing the dried pastry and flour off the kitchen floor, I've had the floor damp now for a good hour so it shouldn't be too difficult, I hope!

Embracing the Journey, and a bucket of suds.
Bret